I went to Jimmy Johns for some food cuz I'm freaking starving because I've been sick and haven't eaten much in the last 3 days and had various digestive distress. Whilst I was there there was Dubstep "Music" playing. I told the cashier that there was something wrong with their speakers. She took me to be serious and asked, "You mean this one over here?"
"No. All of them. They all seem to be making the same horrible noise."
Then she laughed and that was the end of that adventure.
I think everyone should have to work retail so they can learn how to be customers.
Customers are usually horrible, horrible people. Working around such makes me try to be the best customer any employee has ever dealt with when I go anywhere.
Most popular question of all time: "Do you work here?"
Lets see... Bright red shirt with my work's logo on one breast and my name brightly embroidered opposite.
I so want to reply with, "No, I don't work here." and hope they continue to fail to notice how obviously I do.
Drives me crazy.
Most popular question number 2: "Where is the restroom?"
This one doesn't bother me so much. Our restroom is in a stupid place. So many people, however, inquire upon the location of the restroom that it begs the question: does nobody else in the whole universe go to the bathroom before they leave the house? and is this really your first time in this tiny store and you've never walked past the restroom before?
Final selection for the night: Public Restroom Etiquette.
Again I will be referring to the restroom at my work. They are single stall restrooms with just a toilet. It blows my mind how rude people are about it all. When I am in the restroom it is constantly bombarded. My mind works differently than most because when I see a closed door on a small store's little bity bathroom I think, "Perhaps it's occupied, I should knock to be sure." The mindless masses do not. They go straight for the knob. Not only do I hear the knob constantly being twisted while I'm in there but immediately after most every twist is the dull thud of the person throwing his entire body-weight against the door. So these people are not only checking to see if the door is locked but are simultaneously trying to smash the door down on whomever is inside. Just this morning a man did this then proceed to pound his fists on the door demanding to know how much longer I was going to be in there. When I do finally exit the lavatory most people waiting will try to shove their way in before I even have a chance to step out. Usually they are closing the door on me before I can manage all my limbs past the threshold. I understand the urgency when nature calls but holy crap! You don't have be a dick about it!!
There is a scene in The Boondock Saints 2 where the mafia boss gets pissed because one of his guys try to correct his grammar so he beats him in the face with a giant summer sausage when he least expects it.
That's what I wanna do every time a chump is a wanker about public bathroom etiquette.
